Today it is impossible to keep the latest information about swine flu from entering our own thoughts. But we can give the issue sufficient attention through prayerfully affirming the fact that God is good and God is All, until we are free from harboring fears for ourselves and others. As we gain our freedom from fearing the disease, we will be guided as to how to keep the threat of this sickness from frightening children.

We and our children can look away from the images of disease and can affirm the reality of God’s goodness and love for each individual. We can also reject fear of sickness. Nothing precludes us from turning to God in prayer under any circumstance. And all prayers are strengthened by each individual’s trust in God’s power to “take sickness away from the midst of thee”.

Through this reliance on God’s love, it is possible to prevent swine flu, just as any other disease, and admitting this is the first step in our collective progress toward health and freedom from fear of sickness.

One other condition to address is the fear of other humans whom we may fear are contaminated by disease and may give it to us.  Here’s where prayer for the world—for all people, including those who are sick and those who are endeavoring to halt the spread of the disease—can be a blessing. In prayer we can affirm that each son and daughter of God is under His care and is guided by divine Love. We can embrace all people in God’s love and recognize that each one is precious to Him. Even now, divine good is ever present and can bring each individual peace and health.

These efforts to lift thought toward the light that is God, the light in which we all dwell, can eliminate fear of the disease—and the disease itself. In God’s light, each individual is found to be whole and free, forever under His care.

I have a situation that’s tearing me apart. My best friend from high school is in a terrible marriage to a real jerk. She’s admitted to me that he abuses her verbally and physically, but she refuses to leave him, or even get help. Every time she calls me crying, every time I see her and she’s bruised, I just want to scream because I’m so frustrated, but I’m not sure how far to go in confronting her. I love her more than anything, but I afraid if I get tough with her, she’ll pull away and be really alone. What should I do?

Do something! Your friend is in psychological and physical danger, and needs your help now. Like many battered women, she may not reach out for help until it’s too late. Don’t wait for her to ask–she may not even know how. Be a true friend and do everything and anything you can to get her out of this abusive situation, from creating an intervention with other friends and family members, to taking her to a battered women’s support group, to getting friends of her husband’s to confront him–whatever it takes.

Imagine that someone you love is drowning. Your natural impulse is to reach down into the water, grab her arm, and pull her to safety. Would you even have thoughts like “What if she gets angry with me for pulling hard on her arm? Maybe I shouldn’t interfere?” or “Maybe if I save her she’ll never speak to me again.”? Of course not–your only thought would be to save the life of your friend. Well your friend is drowning, whether she’s aware of it or not. Grab hold of her and pull with everything you have. So what if she gets angry at first. So what if she flails in her denial for a while. What’s important is that you do all you can to get her out of the water before it’s too late.

Here’s your alternative: One day, you get a call from the hospital informing you that your friend’s husband beat her up and she’s in intensive care; or one night you’re watching television and discover that your friend was murdered by her husband. How will you feel then? Will it matter that your friend never got mad at you? Will it matter that you “supported” her by not confronting her? I don’t think so.

This is an issue I am passionate about. If all of us stopped tolerating the mistreatment of our friends, of our friend’s children, and anyone we know who is in danger of being harmed in any way, if we spoke out against injustice instead of pretending it wasn’t there and hoping it would magically disappear, then perpetrators of violence would not be able to act out their sickness onto others, and the world would be a much safer and kinder place in which to live.

My girlfriend keeps trying to change everything about me, from how I dress, what I read, the grammar I use when I speak, even who my friends are. Nothing I do is ever perfect enough, and I live with constant criticism. I’m afraid I’ll never live up to her expectations. How can I get her to be less critical?

You are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking me “How can I get her to be less critical?’, you should be asking yourself, “Why am I punishing myself by being in a relationship with someone who treats me like dirt?” Your girlfriend is making herself very clear–she doesn’t like you very much! She obviously sees you as someone whom she can either emotionally torture or rehabilitate, depending on the mood she’s in. You’re right…you can never live up to her expectations, because she is expecting you to be someone you aren’t. This isn’t a relationship–it’s self-flagellation on your part!

So what’s the answer to the real question: Why would you be attracted to a woman who treats you so terribly? You know what I’m going to say–it goes back to your Emotional Programming from childhood. You’re undoubtedly repeating a pattern you first experienced when you were young, one in which you had to work hard to gain the attention, praise or approval of someone who you loved very much. Maybe Dad or Mom was super critical, and nothing you did was ever good enough. Your grades should have been better, you should have excelled more at sports, you should have had a better attitude, etc. etc. You may have made an unconscious decision that “I’m not good enough, and I have to work hard to get someone to love me. “By attracting a woman who treats you like a child she’s trying to “raise” you properly, you’ve put yourself right back home with your parents. It’s as if you are trying to finish that unfinished emotional business–”maybe this time, I’ll finally please someone I love.”

Maybe it wasn’t you who was criticized as a child, but one of your parents by the other. Perhaps Mom tongue-lashed Dad constantly, and he was a lovable but pathetic wimp. In trying to unconsciously be loyal to Dad, you choose women like his wife, and tolerate the same abuse he did. We often act out one parent’s role with the other in a psychological attempt to “keep that parent company” in his pain. I’ve seen people who are doing this find it extremely difficult to break their family pattern, feeling almost as if leaving an unhealthy or abusive situation similar to their parent’s would be a kind of betrayal to that parent.

No matter what your reason for being involved with a woman who treats you in this demeaning fashion, one thing is clear: You need to end the relationship now! I suggest taking some time off from relationships for a while, so you can do some emotional healing, and fill yourself up from the inside out. When you’re loving yourself more, you’ll be less inclined to attract partners who don’t know how to love you.