To be strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk good health, happiness and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something special in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others, as I am about my own.
To learn from the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature my smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to critcise others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, as long as I am true to the best that is in me.

When you are trying to improve your relationship, this can be hard to do if you are not strong enough to do it. Some of the bad things that make a relationship go wrong is when you do not trust your mate. Perhaps you have a good reason not to trust your mate but you have to forget and forgive, which can be hard to do. However, it will not get any easier for you if you do not work on the problem. It’s not all your fault or your mate’s fault, since involvement is a 50-50 relationship. It takes two to make it work and one cannot do it alone.  So you both have to be in agreement to work on your relationship together, otherwise you are wasting your time.

What are some of the things that we can do to make it better?
When trying to make a bad relationship work it can be hard to do at times. There are times when it cannot be saved at all. There has to be a good communication channel between both of you in order to even try to get along. You have to sit down and find the real reason why and where you went wrong. Try to figure something out to make it better. If you cannot communicate then you won’t be able to work out your relationship. Failure to communicate is the leading cause of businesses, relationships faliures.

Here are some of the things you might want to do:

Take time out for you and your mate. Try taking a walk together and talk about the weather, or other topics that reduces stress. You want to avoid stressful subjects until you are ready to discuss your problems calmly. One of the biggest mistakes people make, is calling shots while emotions are soaring. This leads to a yelling match and no one wins. Don’t enter into a discussion when you are feeling angry or upset.

Try to communicate from the heart rather than from the head.  If you learn to communicate without biting backs, you will learn to relax and control your emotions. Perhaps after you spend time together in casual talk, you may feel in the mood to enjoy a romantic night together. If you have children, perhaps a family member or friend can watch the children while you and your mate go to a hotel for a romantic night.

How can one person improve a relationship?
It’s hard for one person to make changes by themself.  It takes two to make a relationship grow and it has to take two to make it work.  Nothing is easy. Still, it has been done and if you are strong enough you can make it through anything. The deal is for you to improve yourself. You cannot change anyone.  The only thing you can change is yourself.  The weight is on your shoulders to make your life better. Once you improve your life, your mate may take interest and start to improve his or her personal life. It is proven that good conduct speaks louder than any words.

How do I improve my personal life?
Improving your life takes action. The first thing you want to do is to sit down, make a list, plan and set goals to change. DO not be too hard on yourself. Instead of looking at all the bad, look at the good since thinking positive is the key to success.

Once you set your goals, start taking action to improve your  life. Again, your mate may take interest and he/she too will join you in improving your lives together.

I have a situation that’s tearing me apart. My best friend from high school is in a terrible marriage to a real jerk. She’s admitted to me that he abuses her verbally and physically, but she refuses to leave him, or even get help. Every time she calls me crying, every time I see her and she’s bruised, I just want to scream because I’m so frustrated, but I’m not sure how far to go in confronting her. I love her more than anything, but I afraid if I get tough with her, she’ll pull away and be really alone. What should I do?

Do something! Your friend is in psychological and physical danger, and needs your help now. Like many battered women, she may not reach out for help until it’s too late. Don’t wait for her to ask–she may not even know how. Be a true friend and do everything and anything you can to get her out of this abusive situation, from creating an intervention with other friends and family members, to taking her to a battered women’s support group, to getting friends of her husband’s to confront him–whatever it takes.

Imagine that someone you love is drowning. Your natural impulse is to reach down into the water, grab her arm, and pull her to safety. Would you even have thoughts like “What if she gets angry with me for pulling hard on her arm? Maybe I shouldn’t interfere?” or “Maybe if I save her she’ll never speak to me again.”? Of course not–your only thought would be to save the life of your friend. Well your friend is drowning, whether she’s aware of it or not. Grab hold of her and pull with everything you have. So what if she gets angry at first. So what if she flails in her denial for a while. What’s important is that you do all you can to get her out of the water before it’s too late.

Here’s your alternative: One day, you get a call from the hospital informing you that your friend’s husband beat her up and she’s in intensive care; or one night you’re watching television and discover that your friend was murdered by her husband. How will you feel then? Will it matter that your friend never got mad at you? Will it matter that you “supported” her by not confronting her? I don’t think so.

This is an issue I am passionate about. If all of us stopped tolerating the mistreatment of our friends, of our friend’s children, and anyone we know who is in danger of being harmed in any way, if we spoke out against injustice instead of pretending it wasn’t there and hoping it would magically disappear, then perpetrators of violence would not be able to act out their sickness onto others, and the world would be a much safer and kinder place in which to live.

My girlfriend keeps trying to change everything about me, from how I dress, what I read, the grammar I use when I speak, even who my friends are. Nothing I do is ever perfect enough, and I live with constant criticism. I’m afraid I’ll never live up to her expectations. How can I get her to be less critical?

You are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking me “How can I get her to be less critical?’, you should be asking yourself, “Why am I punishing myself by being in a relationship with someone who treats me like dirt?” Your girlfriend is making herself very clear–she doesn’t like you very much! She obviously sees you as someone whom she can either emotionally torture or rehabilitate, depending on the mood she’s in. You’re right…you can never live up to her expectations, because she is expecting you to be someone you aren’t. This isn’t a relationship–it’s self-flagellation on your part!

So what’s the answer to the real question: Why would you be attracted to a woman who treats you so terribly? You know what I’m going to say–it goes back to your Emotional Programming from childhood. You’re undoubtedly repeating a pattern you first experienced when you were young, one in which you had to work hard to gain the attention, praise or approval of someone who you loved very much. Maybe Dad or Mom was super critical, and nothing you did was ever good enough. Your grades should have been better, you should have excelled more at sports, you should have had a better attitude, etc. etc. You may have made an unconscious decision that “I’m not good enough, and I have to work hard to get someone to love me. “By attracting a woman who treats you like a child she’s trying to “raise” you properly, you’ve put yourself right back home with your parents. It’s as if you are trying to finish that unfinished emotional business–”maybe this time, I’ll finally please someone I love.”

Maybe it wasn’t you who was criticized as a child, but one of your parents by the other. Perhaps Mom tongue-lashed Dad constantly, and he was a lovable but pathetic wimp. In trying to unconsciously be loyal to Dad, you choose women like his wife, and tolerate the same abuse he did. We often act out one parent’s role with the other in a psychological attempt to “keep that parent company” in his pain. I’ve seen people who are doing this find it extremely difficult to break their family pattern, feeling almost as if leaving an unhealthy or abusive situation similar to their parent’s would be a kind of betrayal to that parent.

No matter what your reason for being involved with a woman who treats you in this demeaning fashion, one thing is clear: You need to end the relationship now! I suggest taking some time off from relationships for a while, so you can do some emotional healing, and fill yourself up from the inside out. When you’re loving yourself more, you’ll be less inclined to attract partners who don’t know how to love you.

I’m in love with a great guy who happens to be twenty two years older than me–I’m thirty-one and he’s fifty three. He’s been married and divorced, and has children not much younger than I am. My family thinks I’m making a big mistake, and have come right out and told me that they don’t approve of the relationship. Am I being naive to think our age differences don’t matter?

Yes, you’re naive if you think your age differences don’t matter. They do, but so do all the other differences in your circumstances and personalities. So ignoring this issue, or any issue, won’t work. The more you insist that there aren’t any problems, the more you are probably suppressing your concerns for fear that they will sabotage the relationship. Both you and your partner need to honestly and directly face and discuss all the various problems that have or could emerge around your age difference.

Significant age differences between partners can cause serious problems in relationships. The word “significant” is important here: If your partner is four or five years older or younger, it won’t make much of a difference. however, if your partner is ten or more years older or younger than you, it can cause difficulties depending on your ages and other aspects of your personalities. I’ve found that age differences mean less as both partners get older. For instance, a fifteen-year age difference between a thirty-five year old man and a twenty-year old woman will probably create more potential hazards than that age span in a sixty-five year old man and a fifty-year old woman. The age difference will affect the first couple more, since their maturity and experience levels are usually much more dissimilar than the second couple’s.

Here are the most common issues couples face when there is an age difference:

If you’re the older partner:

1. You can become impatient with your mate.

If you are significantly older than your mate, you may lose patience with his level of immaturity, lack of life experience, and learning process. This will be especially true if your mate is between twenty and thirty years of age. After all, you’ve already gone through a lot of what she’s dealing with; you’ve realized it’s not the end of the world when you go through a crisis, because it always works out in the end; you’ve made mistakes and figured out how to do things the right way. So it’s not easy watching your younger partner stumble through these same life experiences.

2. You have a tendency to act like a parent to your mate.

When you have ten, twenty or thirty more years of life experience than your partner has, you will find it next to impossible not to offer advice, correct, and direct him or her. After all , you’ve been through this before–you know the best way to do it. Of course your intentions are loving; you’re only trying to help. But the effect can be very destructive to your relationship. YOU BEGIN ACTING LIKE A PARENT AND TREATING YOUR PARTNER LIKE A CHILD. Naturally, your mate feels as if you don’t trust her, you don’t respect her, and responds just like a rebellious teenager would–she becomes resentful and pulls away. And this parent-child game will quickly destroy the passion in your sex life, since your relationship starts taking on incestuous overtones.

3. You may be much more financially successful than your partner.

Most older partners have more financial stability, and therefore, more power in the relationship. You’ve had many more years to build up your income, purchase property and possessions, etc. This financial superiority can create tension between you and your partner in numerous ways–you may feel resentful about being the one who provides more, especially if you are a woman; you may feel like you should make the important decisions (what to spend, where to live, what kind of vacation to take) because it’s your money, and your partner might not feel this is fair. You may have difficulty lowering your standards of living to accommodate your mate’s.

4. You may be tempted to control your partner because you hold more of the power in the relationship.

All of the warning signs above add up to this one–it’s easy when you are much older than your partner to get into a power trip and become controlling . You have more money, success, experience and therefore it’s tempting to “pull rank” on your mate.

5. You may be tempted to compromise or sacrifice your interests, friends and activities in order to appear more compatible with your partner.

If your mate is much younger, you may give up interests he or she doesn’t appreciate and take on habits that make you appear younger.

If you’re involved with a much younger person, here are some questions to ask yourself:

“Do I respect my partner?”
“Am I proud of my partner?”
“Do I trust my partner?”
“What am I learning from my partner?”

If you’re the younger partner:

1. You may put your partner on a pedestal and give up your power.

If your mate is much older than you are, he or she is probably more successful, experienced and financially secure. This may influence you into unconsciously feeling your partner is “better” than you are, and tempt you to idealize him rather than see him for who he really is. When you allow yourself to feel less than because of your mate’s chronological advantage, you give up your power. You take his advice rather than trusting your own; you blindly believe his criticisms of you rather than questioning whether or not he’s correct; you invalidate your own needs and feelings out of deference to your partner. You tell yourself:

“He’s the one who’s paying for it, so we’ll do it his way.”
“I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. After all, look how successful he is.”
“He knows much more about these things than I do because he’s older.
Even if your partner doesn’t want to play this role with you, you may be tempted to fall into this pattern simply because of the age difference. And if your partner happens to enjoy his role as the older, wiser one, or actually uses it to control you, watch out–your relationship won’t be very healthy.

2. You may set your partner up to be like a parent.

Another consequence of being the less experienced, less worldly one in a relationship is that you may be tempted to re-create a parent/child dynamic with your partner. If you are always asking his advice, counting on him to help you, depending on him for money, using his connections to your advantage, allowing him to make decisions for you, you are, in essence, behaving like a child and giving him the authority to be your father (or if you’re the younger man, your mother.) This prevents you from truly growing up, and opens the door for all kinds of Emotional Programming to run itself out.

Even when your partner doesn’t control you, you may feel controlled and intimidated just by virtue of the fact that he or she is that much older. You may react by becoming rebellious, withdrawn or difficult. Perhaps this is the relationship you had with your own parents, or you may be acting out the anger you never had the courage to express to them when you were growing up.

3. You may be tempted to compromise or sacrifice your interests, friends and activities in order to appear more compatible with your partner.
If you are involved with a much older person, here are some questions to ask yourself:
“Does my partner respect me?”
“Does my partner treat me as an equal?”
“Do I feel like an equal with my partner?”
In your case, there are two other issues you and your boyfriend must discuss: First, whether or not you want children and expect him to start a second family; and how you both plan to deal with your perspective families (your parents, his children).

So that’s what to watch out for. Now, the good news–A relationship between two people of very different ages can work if both partners avoid falling into the patterns we’ve just talked about by being aware of them, communicating about their feelings, and making agreements that help create an equal and respectful relationship. The more you have in common and the more committed you are to working on the relationship, the better your chances for survival.

Relationship resources
Holothink: Deep Zen Meditation
Secret Behind The Secret – Fast Selling Book About Law Of Attraction.
How to develop your very own natural psychic powers and other supernatural abilities in the shortest possible time
The $5k Per Day Subliminal Video Message System
The Awakening Course: Attracting Wealth, Health, Happiness And Love
Sx-figure CPA income

Relationships don’t work because:
You are loving the right person but not doing it effectively or
You are not loving the right person.

Five Deadly Love Myths

1. True Love Conquers All.
2. When it’s True Love, I will know. It will be “Love at First Sight.”
3. There is Only One True Love Person for Me.
4. The Perfect Partner Will Fulfill You in Every Way.
5. The Perfect Partner is the One with Whom You have Sexual Chemistry.

Seven Wrong Reasons for Having a Relationship

1. Pressure about your age or situation from family or friends. You give your
   power away.
2. Loneliness and desperation.
3. Sexual hunger.
4. Distraction for your own life. You love the distraction, not the person.
5. Not wanting to grow up.
6. Guilt.
7. Wanting to fill up a spiritual or emotional void with a relationship.

Right Reasons

1. You feel full of LOVE and want to share it. Fullness, not emptiness, creates
   relationship.
2. You are willing to learn more about yourself by looking into the mirror of the
   other.

How to tell if you are ready for a relationship:

• Am I emotionally free from a previous relationship?
• Am I still in love with a previous love?
• Do I like myself? Do I believe no one would want to be in relationship with
  me?
• Am I free of addictions?
• Do I feel lonely and desperate without a relationship?
• Am I unwilling to talk about my feelings with others?
• Do I feel emotionally empty?
• Do I believe I have little to offer to a mate?

For relationship coaching, contact me. In the mean time, you may want to try one of the ebooks below. Payment is processed through Paypal highly secured systems.

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